then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize