is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
