White coat. Heels.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
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