Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Please don't give away my fajitas
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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