If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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