this boner is exhausting
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
