i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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