We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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