What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize