this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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