I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
