Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize