Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I wish you could order shots online.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
