I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
