I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
