Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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