I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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