Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
