Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize