End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
