your thong is hanging out like whoa
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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