shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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