So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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