How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
