I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
