Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
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