Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you win again, gameday.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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