My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Green mimosas i think yes
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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