Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize