fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Randomize
