I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
