whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
