But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
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Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
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So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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