This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
