I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
