When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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