question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
