Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Green mimosas i think yes
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
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When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
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Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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