Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
