Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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