if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
