She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
