He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
