Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
