Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
