Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
