Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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