I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
