Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
