Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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