I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
