I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
