She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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