No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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