Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Im just a social blackout drinker.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize