So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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