i barfeds in our rink
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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