This is not my ceiling
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
