Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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