The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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